Too much sense?

I've been convicted by a quote I read in a book the other day.

Before going further, I need to explore the meaning of "convicted". Not as in being found guilty of a crime. Or maybe so, at least in part. Guilty of not doing something I know I should do. Or guilty of not being something I should be. But in any case, the part that can't be escaped is the "something I know I should" part. When I know I should do something but don't, that stirs up within my conscience an uncomfortable feeling of falling short. And that reminds me of the verse, "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." Since Isaiah tells me that I was created for HIS glory, then it seems totally appropriate that I should feel something uncomfortable when I am falling short.

"Something is wrong if our lives make sense to unbelievers." (quote by Francis Chan)

Ever since I read that statement I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Does my life make too much sense? Honestly, I don't think I've done more than barely scratch the surface of the radical life Jesus called his followers to live. Living by faith is what He called us to do, and that is a far cry from what most of my life looks like. From time to time I recognize in another person (i.e. a particular daughter who lives with me but who shall remain unnamed) something I call a "disconnect". A disconnect is when you don't make the connection of understanding between two things that most would consider an obvious connection. But what if I have a disconnect of my own? That's the uncomfortable feeling of conviction that won't leave me ever since I read that quote. If my life makes sense to unbelievers, then how is it different from just being a very nice person with no use for Jesus? There are plenty of those around, and I don't want to be known as one of them because it denies my Lord!

Jesus has given me everything. He has given me unconditional love, undeserved mercy, unfathomable grace, unending patience, unequivocal purpose, unspeakable joy, an undeniable identity, and a confident unquenchable hope for an eternal future that is unparalleled.

It is more than obvious to me that there is a disconnect between what I call myself - a passionate follower of Christ - and how I live my life. The closest I can come to a pat on the back (for what that's worth!) is to recognize that my life is more similar to Jesus' life today than it was twenty years ago, which means I'm moving in the right direction, albeit at a snail's pace. But there is still too much sight and not enough faith. "We walk by faith, not by sight."

"Let us throw off everything that hinders, and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race set out before us." The throwing off never ends.

And why would I want it to if it brings me closer to Jesus?